Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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