Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
