I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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