jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
