I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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