i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
a search helicopter?!
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
