This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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