I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came on her dog
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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