I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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