he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
