Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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