There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
