How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
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How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
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Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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