Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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