I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
