I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
