Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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