I hate all girls vehemently.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
