are you still at the devil's house?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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