That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
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