She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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