Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I met the friendliest cop last night
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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