There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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