Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Randomize
