Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
