Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
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Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
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Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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