Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
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He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize