ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
