At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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