I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
