I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
