I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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