Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise http://tfl.nu/n0e5
  Replies (59) Good night (849) Bad night (8576)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Your an asshole

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  Actually, it's "you're an asshole"

  (954): View more from Florida

  My point exactly

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): Your an asshole (1-954): Actually, it's "you're an asshole" (954): My point exactly http://tfl.nu/txzi
  Replies (47) Good night (3589) Bad night (795)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas. http://tfl.nu/4rik
  Replies (59) Good night (2219) Bad night (6885)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for. http://tfl.nu/jd67
  Replies (14) Good night (3688) Bad night (1235)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it. http://tfl.nu/6j8m
  Replies (24) Good night (1735) Bad night (8563)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again. http://tfl.nu/0xdw
  Replies (14) Good night (803) Bad night (4326)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things. http://tfl.nu/f722
  Replies (1) Good night (2332) Bad night (940)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab. http://tfl.nu/cf76
  Replies (30) Good night (7937) Bad night (1068)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake http://tfl.nu/082h
  Replies (6) Good night (3194) Bad night (942)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear" http://tfl.nu/1ofq
  Replies (5) Good night (1609) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick. http://tfl.nu/9o5a
  Replies (5) Good night (1722) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in. http://tfl.nu/9ftp
  Replies (8) Good night (1705) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today? http://tfl.nu/mxod
  Replies (5) Good night (1406) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.

  (1-757): View more from Virginia

  …If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car. (1-757): …If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car http://tfl.nu/ri5o
  Replies (3) Good night (422) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (962): View more from

  bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (962): bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in? http://tfl.nu/wfoe
  Replies (1) Good night (641) Bad night (207)

Randomize