For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
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They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I need moral support for this bender
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
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Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?