I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
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Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream