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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?

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• (619): View more from California

  I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."

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• (951): View more from California

  Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (818): View more from California

  You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (562): View more from California

  I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.

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• (940): View more from Texas

  On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket

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• (585): View more from New York

  I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?

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• (206): View more from Washington

  No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties

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• (727): View more from Florida

  As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive

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