drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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