normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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