i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
