Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
