The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
