so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize