Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
