she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
