you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
