I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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