bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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