yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
