Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
