sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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