this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
