So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
