So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
