and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize