the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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