You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
