My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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