Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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