last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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