i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
