Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
