He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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