i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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