hotel room ftw
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
